A Chipmunk Leaped from the Dash, Jumped off my Knee and Scurried Out the Window...

So, I found an hour of downtime, just now. Having wrestled it into submission, I will now give it the sleeper hold. 3AM, here we come...

This blog post is titled, "A Chipmunk Leaped from the Dash, Jumped off my Knee and Scurried out the Window..." because today, a chipmunk leaped from the dash of my truck, jumped off my knee and scurried out the window while I was driving down the road. I'm not kidding. Over the past several months, this chipmunk had taken a liking to our pile of firewood logs, before migrating to my lumber pile and finally our garage. I don't know why (actually, I probably do know why), but for some unknown reason, this little guy must have been rummaging through Helga Beast (my lovely 1980 Ford F350) early this morning when I hopped in and fired her up for a trip in to town. To my credit, I gave any and all resident vermin ample time to vacate the premises with a series of long, drawn-out, failed attempts to breathe life into Helga's 400 cubic inches of fire-breathing iron. For yet  another unknown reason, this chipmunk decided to stay put even after the motor roared to life and the Beast had jerked her way to highway speeds. All I can tell you for certain is this, about thirty seconds after pulling out of our driveway a brown streak materialized from the vicinity of the dash.

The streak landed on my knee and was off again before I could identify it; which occurred as I caught sight of it's tail, scampering through the open, passenger side window. "What!?" I shouted, laughing hysterically. "Georgie!?!?, did you SEE that!!?!? A chipmunk just jumped off my knee and hopped out the window!!!" Georgie laughed calmly, but clearly didn't understand the awesomeness of the situation. I suppose in his world, there was no reason for this thing not to have happened just the way it did. I also suppose he had conditioned himself to take everything I say with a grain of salt, as I often tell him outright lies.

In any case, that happened today.

What about all the other days? Well, we've got some catching up to do. Since there are way too many cool things to talk about in one post, I have no choice but to go all Back to the Future on you guys. I am committing myself, here before you, to follow Back to the Future form in my next three posts, which will be back-to-back-to-back this week. In case you are not familiar with the Back to the Future franchise, shame on you. This week it's going down like this:

• Post 1 will cover the relatively recent past, like the one where Marty shreds it on some kid's skateboard and gets a truckload of manure dumped in Biff's car. I will explain how Coulter and I shredded some man hours and got a 10 lb bag of ice dumped on our heads.

• In Post 2, we're going forward, only to go back again, like the one where Marty shreds it on a hover board before inadvertently tearing a hole in the space-time continuum by allowing old Biff to give young Biff a sport's almanac from the future. I'll show you some of my new futuristic promotional stuff and tell you all about how I'm trying to make this a real job, so my wife doesn't rip a hole in my space-time continuum. 

• In Post 3, we're going back, way back, like the one where Marty negotiates a life or death situation in an old west saloon by laying down a totally sick moonwalk. I'm going to convince you this blog is still cool by showing you how to make something awesome with your own two hands. Post 3 is going to be all about it.

Alright, see you soon.

-F.W.

P.S., I guess it isn't a real blog post unless there's at least something to look at. So, a little teaser... Check back this week if you want to see how I built this rope, from an oak log. You read that right.

Hand made oak bark rope (twine, technically). Yes, this was part of tree.